Mothering viewed through IF tinted glasses

It’s been quite some time since I’ve visited here.  Which makes me incredibly sad.  Part of it is our little beastie.  The other parts are my insane career and my changing rlsp with the Hubs.  Life moves on in all cases and in all aspects, it is such a needy little wench.

The baby is a full blown tot now.  And she’s a blessing but also such a challenge!  I keep seeing these fb articles about having a strong willed child and I can’t help but secretly cringe cause that’s what we have.  I love it except when she boards her crazy train and loses her tiny mind in public or is intensely vocal and needy after a long day at work.  Sometimes I find myself strangely yearning for some time, any time, alone and to myself.  It’s awful, but I would feel even worse if I didn’t admit it and tell the truth.  Being a parent is a challenge.  It’s amazing, like you hear all of the damn time, but it’s super hard too.  My husband and I have never had more arguments than now.  And my patience for anything is so very short.  

To be honest, I feel that IF inadvertently put parenthood on this pedestal.  To be all roses and rainbows and smell pretty.  But it is so very raw.  It is beautiful but in a wild way.  Like seeing a rainbow in the middle of a rainstorm.  Or seeing a thunderstorm.  So very powerful and so incredible but scary and challenging at the same time.  I find the most difficult aspect is finding a way to also pursue my professional life while still putting my family first.  Which is bloody impossible.  Because veterinary medicine is a giant black hole.  And it wants every aspect of a veterinarians life for little to no financial payments to help offset educational costs or to support our families.  I truly wish I would have known this before I became a Dvm and certainly wish I would have realized this prior to becoming a parent.  But it is what it is.  I love my career and I love my family but I wish this would have been an easier marriage between the two.  

However despite the challenges and the fleeting moments of wishing things would be easier, I am blissfully happy most of the time.  Our S is tiny but busting full of personality.  She is truly my biggest and best accomplishment. I just hope that we survive toddlerhood, especially with the Hubs soon deploying.  Patience, patience, maybe some wine, and patience.  

As for this space.  I am going to speak of the girl child but I’m also going to use this to vent about DVM life, about military life, and about our future plans.  I love that she’ll be able to look back on my memories and I surely will want to as well, so on with it all.  Sending so much love and hugs and other warm things to you all!

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3 thoughts on “Mothering viewed through IF tinted glasses”

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