This last week has been a bit emotionally charged. I truly dislike sending S to daycare but I am not cut to be a SAHM. I almost lost my mind being at home these last few weeks. I also strongly feel that, as there are benefits of children staying home, there are an equal number of different benefits for children attending daycare. So, as of now, I can at least tolerate not being with her.
Yet my real stressor lies in my current position itself. I am currently required to work Wednesday through Friday, from noon to 9 pm, and Saturday from 7 to 3. Meaning all of the weekends, forever. And evenings. I do not like that. Even more than that, I actually HATE IT. But, even worse, a new hire has resulted in me losing 2 of my 4 surgery days a month. And I LIVE for surgery. It is one of the true enjoyments that I get from my career. And I used to enter the surgery suite 3-4 days A WEEK. So not only do I have to work shitty hours, I don’t even get to continue to enjoy my passion.
I’m kind of pissed. As of now I am looking into other positions. Secretly, of course, but I can’t justify staying at a place if I cannot grow professionally. And if I can’t continue to do what I love. The worst part is that they knew this when they hired me. They knew of my preference.
It makes me miserable. I had no idea that I would come to loathe this job. It’s some dumb shit. I’m so over it. As of now the plan is finding new position. Asap.
Moving on to the chickadee. She is doing great. Growing like a weed, smiling and cooing, full of personality. Daycare went well this first week and I feel like she will be a favorite there. They keep saying she is so alert and that she is one of the caregiver’s little diva. And It’s crazy to see babies become truly interactive. She loves sucking on her hands and pretty much everything that she gets ahold of, she tries to eat. Her head control is impressive and she’s beginning to actually move her body. I am not doing nearly enough tummy time, but we are working on it. And her eyes… Following everything. Intensely interested in the world.
We are still on the BF train although pumping at work is lame and kind of a pain. She finally took to a bottle which happens to be some damn expensive ones! But she eats well from them, even though I don’t ever get to see it cause she sure doesn’t eat well when I’m here. A new fun thing she does, though, is grinning up at me when she’s nursing. I guess she finally figured out I’m attached to some of my lower attributes. It’s actually very cute.
Although she’s 9wo, here are some 8 week pics.