Today is my last free Friday. Last one with Miss Chickadee. Last one before I hit the hospital again next Wednesday. I am both sad and excited. I feel like I need to get out and work at that passion I have for my job. But someone else is going to have her smiles and coos and that’s heartbreaking. She is so damn adorable and I don’t want to share. I wish I could take her with me.
I’m also super freaked out about her being home alone with the Hubs. I will be working a noon to 9pm shift, so the Hubs will pick her up at 5-5:30 and have her until I get home at about 10. I also work Saturday from 7-3. So he will have her during that time. I have no doubt he is capable and he adores her. But it’s hard to be the only one with her, especially with eating and relaxing after work. Which is what I’ve tried to let him do for the most part. And it’ll be fine. It’ll be hard the first week or so and then it’ll be fine. I am just sad I guess. I want to be able to put her to bed, I want to be able to keep enjoying our nighttime ritual. It doesn’t help that I’m a little nervous about continuing feeding her at night while I’m working. I can only just imagine the exhaustion I’ll have. She eats anywhere from 2-3 times a night and then I pump too, so it just means I’m gonna be worn down :(. I know this sounds crazy but I can’t wait for her to get a bit older and begin dropping some of those night feedings! I will still pump, but it’ll be once every 4 hours and not after feeding her.
The other thing that I’m a tad stressed about is the whole swaddle thing. She sleeps really well in it but HATES being put in the straight jacket. Yet she flails if I don’t. I’m just seeing how weaning her off it goes over the next couple days. It’s gonna be another stressor though. And she might be too young but I want to make everything’s easier on the Hubs.
Anyways, here’s another picture of our Ray of Sunshine. Wish me luck in the next week or so!