First by “your,” I mean ANY emergency vet.
1. For the love of all that is holy, do NOT EVER call and ask what you can do for a broken leg at home. This should be self explanatory, but I get that money can be the limiting factor. In that case call a friend, family, apply for a credit card. Anything. I will never ever ever be able to give you at-home care advice.
2. If your pet passed during the night, I am truly sorry, but I am not an undertaker and cannot dispose of the body at 3 am. We just don’t work that way. Please, please call at 7.
3. Dogs have allergic reactions, often to insect stings. I can offer a recommendation for Benadryl but cannot give you more advice unless I see the pet. Please don’t keep coaxing me to offer more advice. Also I cannot tell you exactly what stung your pet.
4. If a cat ever is having difficulties birthing, holy shit. That cat is a disgrace to all cats. They are seriously like machines with birthing and I bet she is fine. Incidentally I cannot tell you over the phone is she is having issues.
5. I also cannot diagnose a broken leg over the phone. Like at all. I can’t even help you feel for a dislocation. Besides what exactly are you going to do about it at home? See # 1.
6. If you have a dog that is in labor and you say you just found the pet, but you have had said pet for longer than a month, you are financially responsible for care. It will not matter how many times you tell me you found the poor critter. Please take the financial responsibilities into consideration before finding a pet!!
7. Do not expect me to feel sorry for you if your pet became entangled in a chain because you leave him tied up outside. All of the time.
Needless to say, this weekend has been interesting.