What not to do when contacting your on-call veterinarian…

First by “your,” I mean ANY emergency vet.

1. For the love of all that is holy, do NOT EVER call and ask what you can do for a broken leg at home. This should be self explanatory, but I get that money can be the limiting factor. In that case call a friend, family, apply for a credit card. Anything. I will never ever ever be able to give you at-home care advice.

2. If your pet passed during the night, I am truly sorry, but I am not an undertaker and cannot dispose of the body at 3 am. We just don’t work that way. Please, please call at 7.

3. Dogs have allergic reactions, often to insect stings. I can offer a recommendation for Benadryl but cannot give you more advice unless I see the pet. Please don’t keep coaxing me to offer more advice. Also I cannot tell you exactly what stung your pet.

4. If a cat ever is having difficulties birthing, holy shit. That cat is a disgrace to all cats. They are seriously like machines with birthing and I bet she is fine. Incidentally I cannot tell you over the phone is she is having issues.

5. I also cannot diagnose a broken leg over the phone. Like at all. I can’t even help you feel for a dislocation. Besides what exactly are you going to do about it at home? See # 1.

6. If you have a dog that is in labor and you say you just found the pet, but you have had said pet for longer than a month, you are financially responsible for care. It will not matter how many times you tell me you found the poor critter. Please take the financial responsibilities into consideration before finding a pet!!

7. Do not expect me to feel sorry for you if your pet became entangled in a chain because you leave him tied up outside. All of the time.

Needless to say, this weekend has been interesting.

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7 thoughts on “What not to do when contacting your on-call veterinarian…”

  1. I was at a nature center today and i heard a lady there receive a call. I was sitting close to her picnic table so i overheard some of her conversation and as it turned out she is a vet and had a call from a non client with some type of animal emergency. I thought how awkward that must be, not to mention hard, to have to tell someone that you really have no idea what the problem is with their pet and also you can’t even take their emergency. It has to be a sad job at those times. 😦

    I can’t imagine wanting to set my dogs leg at home!!! Some people….

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