What not to do when you are pretend knocked up

Take radiographs

Interact with 100 # aggressive, muzzled intact male dogs

Lift 50 # bags of dog food

Inhale isofluorane while setting animals up for anesthesia

Clean litter boxes from hospitalized felines

Drink afternoon coffee due to the clinic sucking out one’s life blood

I did all of these things today alone.  So there’s that.  I almost feel my chosen profession is not really conducive to achieving a stress or risk free pregnancy.  Good thing we are just pretending at this point. 

On a side note, I had dinner with a wonderful friend and also her 1 1/2 old son.  Holy balls.  That age is all sorts of crazy.  I cannot even pretend that I did not want to sneak to the bathroom.  And to the bathroom, I really mean to my car.  I swear that if this whole turkey-baster baby-making thing works, I better have tons of hormones that will make me love the child always.  Especially when said child decides to become a heathen in public.  And it wasn’t cause mom wasn’t attempting control the boy.  It’s because the boy was not about to be controlled.  He wasn’t even crying, he was just into everything that exists and was too energized and freaking me out.

At least our hospitalized patients are rocking it with awesome urination and no vomits.  Holla.  And progesterone fun sticks start this pm.  I am wicked stoked.



12 thoughts on “What not to do when you are pretend knocked up”

    1. I was so trying not to cringe every single time he started having a basically 2 yo fit. And he really wasn’t bad, but holy buckets. Yet another time I would have loved a drink 😉

  1. Yup…that’s the scariest part about having kids how you will react in such situations. I always feel really bad for parents in stores when their kid has a complete meltdown. But, I think you just grow into all of that. You somehow wing it…at least that’s what I hope for…lol. And this better not be pretend knock up…I’m counting on you 😉

    1. Oh please, oh please, right? I am so very hoping so, but I am trying not to get too hopeful. What will be, will be, and all of that! I was just trying to eat my dinner and not start twitching =)

    1. Thanks, lady. Sometimes life is so insane that I cannot help but need to share it! And I totally, TOTALLY could spay some humans. I have seen my laparoscopic pics. It would be easier than spaying a dog 😉

  2. My nephew is going on 3 and he gives me anxiety these days. His mom and me just look at each other like “oh god, here we go again” everyone he breaks down. Lol their do worth it though. I can tell by the way his parents “deal” with him. I can’t air. I know you can’t either.

  3. Lol!! I wouldn’t worry too much about those things at this point. Just do what you have to right now. lol yes….I’m sure you will want to “kill your child” from time to time, but that’s just part of it!

  4. Bahaha you’re hilarious. I really hope this “turkey baster method” works and I am sure those hormones will make you love that baby even when it grows up to be a heathen. Or you were exert the best parenting ever and they will never act like that. Right?! 🙂

  5. HA. Yes I work with that 18 month population in my line of work. Some of them are hilariously difficult to control. Everyone says that it’s going to be different when it’s yours. I’ll take their word for it. 🙂

  6. Wow, that is a lot of things we’re told not to do!

    I hear ya about little boys that age. Spent an afternoon with 7 little boys under 5 recently… I totally freaked out and considered quitting TTC.

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