Not surprisingly the first night of femara went without a hitch. I slept like a rock and most definitely did not have hot flashes…yay! To be honest I would have expected this even had we embarked on the clomid journey again. It took my body at least 2-3 medicated days before I started having those wicked temperature hikes.
So, needless to say this ranting actually has nothing to do with the cycle thus far. I just wanted to feel sorry for myself for a moment. Today was a couple of dumpy reminders about our lack of pregnancy. First a client brought in a pet with intermittent hind limb lameness. I recommended radiographs. The husband asked if his wife could help, because the pet had some separation anxiety issues. I naturally said no, it’s against clinic policy due to the risk of radiation exposure. My response was immediately followed by the wife excitedly rubbing her very small abdomen and piping up about her new pregnancy. I said congrats and quickly moved the appointment forward.
Following the radiographs, I brought the pet back to his owners and began discussing the diagnosis and treatment options. The gold standard protocol in this case involved orthopedic surgery which can be quite expensive. Wife again excitedly interjected about how they really can’t afford it cause of the new baby. Um, got it.
Well this new, bubbly preggo simply wasn’t enough. After work I decided to skulk around FB, mostly to check on the many friends still in veterinary school who have recently found out the results of their national board exam. I had a message and naturally opened it. Of course it was an invite to a baby shower. From a girl who told me not that long ago that “it would just happen” before she even had a chance to hear why it hasn’t happened. The girl is very nice but really incredibly naive about fertility issues. And she isn’t a close friend so there is no reason why she would even have an inkling about our struggles.
But this on top of that rather abrasive appointment, it just threw me into a flurry. I am tired of hiding our journey and tired of being embarrassed by our treatments. I just want to shout out the whole of it, right out in the open, on FB and everywhere. I just want people to know what we are struggling with and want those people in our everyday life to support us. I also really, REALLY want others out there to realize that many couples experience fertility challenges. That because of this fact, just have more everyday consideration and respect will ease a lot of isolation we all feel. And that we all would love the additional support and prayers.
But mostly I just want to stop hiding.