As y’all can imagine, I may have boarded the hormone crazy train first thing this morning. That particular fuse was especially shortened due to incredibly shitty sleep I had the night before. Not only was I waking every couple hours in a tizzy about correctly taking my BBT, but I was haunted by weird surgery emergency dreams. Perfect. And the Hubs was just sitting there and breathing. Enter my irrational other personality. I’m not proud.
It was only because of the unconditional blessings from God that we even managed to get into the same car together. Thankfully the ride is 3.5 hours long which allowed me time to begrudgingly apologize for my actions.
It also allowed me time to ponder the Hubs’ collection process… and to do one kindness better by poking fun at him. Please know that I was as gentle a I could manage, but I really have to take every opportunity possible at 9 years of marriage. Seriously. I am running out of ammo. And he just keeps getting better at this game.
Back to the IUI. First, the Hubs laughingly verbalizes that there is only one collection method… masturbation. Nurse 1 judges. She then asks for payment. I hand over our card and tell the Hubs he is an expensive date. More judging. She points him to the room. He does his end of the deal and we are unleashed on the town while they wash his sample. Naturally, once we left, the Hubs criticized the reading material. I tell him that he deserves that cause he is a child.
After an hour, we Finally return for the IUI. Nurse 2 asks me to partially undress and then turns to wash her hands. I am ever the awkward patient and ask her to reiterate if she means now. Duh. Enter stirrups and speculum. I am asked to verify that the vial with the Hubs name on it is the right guy. Name is spelled right and so it must be so. She then asks the Hubs if he wants to see, although the idea makes me want to shrivel and die. But he does which in hindsight I am happy because that made him a continued player in the process. Insertion of the catheter, injection of 1/2 ml of the Hubs’ swimmers, and done. Keep the hinny up for at least 10 minutes.
Took 5 seconds. No more cramping then an easy pap. And there wasn’t even fireworks. I feel a little jipped cause that was an expensive 5 seconds. Because I wanted to feel like we got something tangible from the event, I kept the vial from the Hubs’ sample. I am also a child.
So here we are. At the beginning of a new 2 weeker. Me without a drink, a smoke, or a number (I don’t smoke, but just an offer would have been nice). But maybe a Baby B in the end…
( THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH FOR THE LOVE FROM AFAR!! My heart feels like it can rest at least a little, even if just for now, cause of the blessings from y’all. You all make my life so much better!!!)