On-call exhaustion

8:00 p.m.  call.  Client presents me with a story very similar to many of the calls I get while on-call.  They okay the emergency fees and I bop on down to the clinic.  Client informs me that not only is pet sick from a very common, and very preventable, viral infection but that they also feed all of their dogs raw meat.  What?  It is too late on a Friday evening for me to even comprehend how to explain why feeding raw meat is a horrible idea.  Yet this is the reality of my profession.  Take a deep breath, stave off the exhaustion, and jump in.

Wake up this a.m.  Still horribly beat down.  Barely manage to look presentable.  See 19 appointments before 11, many of which involve not-so-fun examinations.  At least 3 are walk-ins.  I, who is really a cheerful and happy person most times, want to have a nuclear meltdown.  On clients, assistants, and the front desk.  Instead, I continue to check the fax machine for the histopathology results on our middle baby dog.  And always remembering to breath and keep trucking.

I have no idea why, but during the last couple days I have been struggling to even keep my eyes open.  I suspect that it’s both the mental strain of my holiday baby blues as well as beginning the second Clomid cycle.  Icky.  I have already taken one nap today and might have the full intentions of taking another.  Maybe I will try a second shower and pot of coffee instead.

In good news, I have the faxes requesting release of my medical records to the new RE.  I also had a chance to discuss potentially doing an IUI with the current guy before the switch.  Luckily they are super flexible and will take us in to do the procedure even if we call the day of the LH surge.  After talking to the Hubs, I am thinking that this might be a go for this cycle.   It’s funny because although I am excited about moving forward, I am also terrified.  I was terrified before my diagnostic laparoscopy.  I was terrified before we even met our current RE.  I think it’s because with every step we take into the Land of IF we are further accepting the reality of infertility in our lives.  And that really bites.  I miss that excitement and innocence of a couple finally ready to just “see what happens.”  I miss not having to take constant BBTs and not buying packages of OPK.  I miss just having the BD for fun and not just cause ovulation occurred.  But, you know what, it’ll all be just fine, it’ll be ok.  I mean, first thing today I was able to share in the wonderful news from many great infertiles who received their BFP or are having very healthy early pregnancies.  Gotta just believe in the medicine and our biology!

In the meantime, CD 4, on Clomid #2, waiting for the future.  Snuggling with the puppies and watching the on-call phone.  Hoping the Hubs gets some awesome Christmas surprises while he is in town!  Happy Holidays, all of you lovely folks out there!!


4 thoughts on “On-call exhaustion”

  1. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I know so well those feelings of losing the innocence of not having a care of the world and just getting pregnant without much thought about it. But like you said, we’ll all be okay. I have seen such resilience in this community. I hope that the future will surprise you. 🙂

  2. Raw meat?!? What is wrong with these people?!?
    I am hoping that you get out of the funk that you are in soon!
    Maybe Christmas will help! 🙂
    Oh…and your package will be on its way tomorrow! 🙂

    Have a VERY Merry Christmas!!! 🙂

    1. Yay!! I bet things will feel better once this crazy holiday on-call schedule is over. And I am shooting off yours tomorrow too! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year with lots to be thankful for, lady!!

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